Ep. 6: In A Lonely Place

Ep. 6: In A Lonely Place

Just in time for the new season of Riverdale that starts on Wednesday, this week’s One Off goes back to Season 1, Episode 7, ‘In A Lonely Place’. Listen along as Steve and Dave share uninformed opinions about popular teen dramas from the 00s. Also of note: nobody uses the term “on fleek”.

According to Netflix’s summary, this week’s episode is as follows: “Amid harsh rumors about Polly, Alice goes public with family secrets, making Betty and Cheryl uneasy allies. Jughead helps his dad reclaim his life.”

  • ‘In A Lonely Place’ is available on Netflix and iTunes.
  • As usual, Dave and Steve avoid recapping/deconstructing the episode, but if that’s your thing, Mikey Neumann and Jon Risinger’s Cry Me A Riverdale might be your jam.
  • Does anyone else think the Riverdale theme song reminds them of Friday Night Lights?
  • Steve appalled that people like things that he doesn’t like.
  • As usual, your hosts have their finger on the pulse with their discussion of milk caps.
  • Dave, as it turns out, is either remembering his bubble gum comic history correctly or has stumbled onto a delightful coincidence.
  • “It’s not real life… It’s high school.”
  • Do your research, guys: The O.C. was on Fox and Riverdale is on the CW; Warner Bros. is the one of the production companies for both.
  • Steve seems like more of a Dawson’s Creek kind of guy.
  • If you were thinking about catching the Scream movies any time soon, you might want to skip this episode because Dave and Steve spoil the first one. Granted, it’s a spoiler that is old enough to vote in Singapore.
  • Dave and Steve are old men yelling at clouds.
  • Endings. How do they work?
Ep. 5: Paula Scher: Graphic Design

Ep. 5: Paula Scher: Graphic Design

This week’s One Off is all about showing you how the sausage gets made, where the sausage is Dave and Steve’s creative processes. To get there, they watched Abstract: The Art of Design Season 1, Episode 6, ‘Paula Scher: Graphic Design’. Hold onto your pocket protectors, because it’s about to get awfully nerdy up in here.

According to Netflix’s summary, this is “Graphic designer Paula Scher paints with words, developing the visual language of iconic brands and institutions around the world.”

  • ‘Paula Scher: Graphic Design’ is available on Netflix.
  • Dave struggles to say the episode title.
  • Maybe Dave and Steve’s next podcast will be entirely framed around trying to read each other’s minds.
  • Dave did a TEDx talk?
  • Steve pumps Dave’s tires.
  • Apparently Dave’s been seeing other podcasts.
  • Much like small dogs, Dave and Steve understand what a door does, but they don’t seem to understand how to operate them.
  • Steve wishes he was Aaron Sorkin.
  • What margins does Steve use for his papers? What margins does Steve want his students to use for their papers? Answers to these enthralling questions and more await you, Constant Listener.
  • As it turns out, Dave is not a bath-man.
  • This podcast brought to you by Apple.
  • The correct answer to, “Which version of Helvetica Neue do you prefer?” is “Stuff it, nerds”.
  • Get thee to a topiary!
  • Steve does his best to right the ship…
  • … and fails.
  • <Insert another plug for something else that Dave does>
  • On top of everything, Steve is a fountain pen junkie. Because of course he is.
  • Dave seems like he is going to tell a story about the Red Light District.
  • He does not.
  • Dave really has internalized the Fields Notes slogan.
Ep. 4: The Entire History of You

Ep. 4: The Entire History of You

While it isn’t the future, you’ll be able to replay this One Off again and again until it makes you want to rip your earbuds out of your head. That’s right, this week Dave and Steve are watching Black Mirror Season 1, Episode 3: ‘The Entire History of You’. They vaguely remember 60’s era television and Dave makes fun of how Steve’s brain works. What more could you ask for?

As Netflix reminds us, thie episode is summarized thusly, “In the near future, everyone has access to a memory implant that records everything humans do, see and hear”. Which, of course, raises the question: why would you say ‘humans’ do? Is it an attempt to clarify that we’re not putting these implants in frogs? Now that’d be a strange future: in a world where every toad is recording your every move, one human gets hopping mad in an attempt to be frogotten.

  • “Black Mirror” is available on Netflix.
  • While Dave and Steve aren’t recapping ‘The Entire History of You’, they are apparently happy to summarize their favorite episodes of The Twilight Zone.
  • Without knowing it, Dave and Steve accidentally choose episodes of The Twilight Zone that are linked through the same child actor: Bill Mumy.
  • Steve just wanted an excuse to say “godking”.
  • Steve has trouble with empathy.
  • Dave and Steve would make terrible relationship counsellors…
  • … But great sociopaths.
  • Steve is, indeed, aphantastic.
  • This podcast might be evidence in a retrial sometime down the road.
  • Dave accuses Steve of thoughtcrime, which is probably true, but there’s no need to call him out on it.
  • Steve has memory envy.
  • Steve swears more than once, creating work for the editor. Thanks Steve.
Ep. 3: Noël

Ep. 3: Noël

As is befitting of the end of summer, this week’s One Off has Dave and Steve watching a Christmas episode of The West Wing: Season 2, Episode 10. They talk about songs that make them nostalgic, the pitfalls of Christmas episodes, and end with a discussion that Steve should probably share with his therapist.

iTunes’ overly wordy description for this episode is, “At Christmas time, Leo hires a traumatologist to force Josh to confront his unacknowledged stress resulting from when he was shot. Josh initially denies his recent erratic emotions as he recounts the events of the last few weeks. Sam deals with an errant energy secretary who contradicts Bartlet. Meanwhile, C.J. helps a tourist who becomes agitated after seeing a painting that was stolen from her family by the Nazi-controlled French government. And Charlie must persuade a stubborn Bartlet that the President cannot possibly personally sign more than one million White House Christmas cards.”

  • “The West Wing” is available on iTunes.
  • As per the rules of One Offs club, Dave and Steve don’t recap the episode they watched, but if you’re looking for that kind of thing, check out the West Wing Weekly for a great recap of “Noël”.
  • The editor felt obligated to include the entire opening theme of The West Wing. You’re welcome.
  • Steve says an emphatic “no” to Dave’s call to adventure. It will be a rift in their friendship for years to come.
  • Much like Steve’s inability to do accents, Dave’s slang terminology for Canadian cities is going to get the podcast in trouble.
  • This week’s episode has an Apple Music playlist to go with it.
  • Apropos of something: “Death Cab have become emblematic of a certain brand of mainstream indie-pop, what might be termed Grey’s Anatomy music – melodic and heartfelt, if relatively bland.”
  • Nobody is shocked to learn that Steve is a grinch.
  • Holidays at Dave’s house sound like an absolute riot.
  • Steve mistakenly refers to Leo McGarry as Jewish. While Leo “is the most Jewish man most of us have ever met” (See: “The Red Mass”), the show makes pretty clear that he is a lapsed Catholic.
  • Dave is unintentionally punny.
  • As it turns out, there was a National Lampoon’s Thanksgiving Family Reunion. It starred Bryan Cranston in the role that probably got him Breaking Bad.
  • Dave sounds like he has a camera set up in Aaron Sorkin’s living room.
  • Steve probably shouldn’t be allowed to go Christmas carolling anymore.
  • In retrospect, perhaps Dave and Steve should have saved their Christmas episode for… you know… Christmas. Merry 28th of August, everyone!
Ep. 2: Almost Got ‘Im

Ep. 2: Almost Got ‘Im

In this One Off, Dave and Steve delve into DC’s darkest detective, with Season 2, Episode 18 of Batman: The Animated Series. Come to hear them talk about the value of framed narratives and why Dave hates live action superheroes, stay for the fight they get into about toys. iTunes’ description for this episode is, “While hiding from the police, Batman’s deadliest enemies exchange stories about their mutual nemesis–Batman.”

  • “Almost Got ‘Im” is available on iTunes
  • While One Offs is bound to respect the grammar and punctuation choices of television shows, let the record state that the editor firmly believes this episode should be titled “Almost Got ‘Em”.
  • Steve answers a question that Dave didn’t ask, proving that he wasn’t listening in the first place.
  • Dave says something ridiculous and then makes fun of Steve for saying something ridiculous.
  • Dave thinks Steve likes bad television.
  • Dave is one-face ableist.
  • Steve talks about effective units.
  • Steve doesn’t mind if people call him simple.
  • Just to be clear, Steve, your biggest conceptual problem with Batman is that the Batmobile is self-driving?
  • Neither Dave nor Steve can remember the details of the 1966 Batman film. For shame, you two. For shame.
  • Steve thinks Dave is being insulting to our vast contingent of Australian listeners, but it might be Steve who is the insulting one.
  • Raise your hand if you come to One Offs for diuscussions of German expressionism in cinema.
  • The moral of superhero cartoons is obviously “crime never pays — unless your crime is being a vigilante”.
  • Dave’s pronunciation of Harley Quinn is absolutely absurd.
Ep. 1: The One Where No One’s Ready

Ep. 1: The One Where No One’s Ready

Hold onto your headphones everyone. Four months after teasing the series, we’re finally launching the podcast. In this week’s One Off, Dave and Steve return to the hottest show of the 90s (and early 00s) with Season 3, Episode 2 of Friends. Learn how they try to manipulate the people around them, sometimes into being better people and sometimes into not paying for coffee. Netflix’s description for this week’s episode is, “In a race against the clock, Ross tries to get the gang dressed and ready for a black-tie benefit at the museum.”

  • “The One Where No One’s Ready” is available on Netflix or iTunes
  • Steve does not ease into the episode at all. This causes Dave to laugh, not because he finds it funny but because he is uncomfortable.
  • Dave tries to get Steve to drink his dude thing.
  • Steve is concerned about the health of Ross and Rachel’s relationship.
  • Steve admits that past-Steve was dumb.
  • Cruxt.
  • This episode gives the audience some insight into how Dave and Steve think about the world: like weirdos.
  • Steve sexually identifies with this scene from Community.
  • Steve shares one of his more banal life goals.
  • Dave worries about being a vampire.
  • If you invite Dave out for coffee, beware his power moves.
  • Steve and Dave really know how to bring an episode home for their audience: five minutes of philosophy, baby.
Ep. 0: Our Man Bashir

Ep. 0: Our Man Bashir

This week’s pilot for One Offs takes Dave and Steve into familiar territory with Season 4, Episode 10 of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Listen as they boldly go where millions of people have gone before through a discussion of holodecks, Christmas episodes, and Bond girls. According to Netflix, in this week’s episode “Bashir is enjoying a holosuit program that casts him as a super suave, 1960s Earth secret agent when Garak intrudes on his fantasy.”

  • “Our Man Bashir” is available on Netflix or iTunes.
  • Netflix suggests that ‘Our Man Bashir’ is the ninth episode of the season, because it is a liar.
  • Dave worries about his fantasies becoming reality.
  • Steve and Dave give a shoutout to the unsung hero of the Trek-verse: Reginald Barclay.
  • Steve and Dave forget what century it is.
  • This episode says a lot more about Dave and Steve than it does about Star Trek.
  • Is Netflix ruining Christmas episodes?
  • Mona Luvsit is the height of subtly in comparison to some of the actual Bond girl names. See: Molly Warmflesh or Holly Goodhead.
  • It seems absolutely ridiculous to use the term “James Bond nerds”. Is nothing sacred anymore, Steve?
  • Dave thinks television shows should be a little more conversation, a little less action please.
  • Steve doesn’t seem to have the courage of his convictions.
  • In case anyone had any doubts, Steve was a young nerd.